There's a lot of things that I still didn't understand about. I'm the innocent girl (named it), suddenly must hear and face the reality which actually it doesn't make sense for me. I know that not everything might be goes well as I think. In this world, there are million even billion absurd problems that I haven't know yet but it happened around me and when it happened to me, I think that I am not supposed to receive those consequence. I believe that it should be THEM not ME.
I did and I blame to the other person. Always.
I couldn't tell you what kind of problem I'm facing about but again I wanna talk about my question "Am I really supposed to receive this?" It stuck on my mind until I had a lack of sleep because of crying.
If something let you down and it really broke your heart even sometimes you wanna end up your life, remember that actually you are the one who let urself in to that problem. You choose that choice. Think about if you choosing to avoid it at first, you will not received it. So, what can we do?
Take a Responsibility to yourself and stop blaming to the others.
Let me tell you what I found (in my deepest moment) from a book title The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, Mark Manson, page 96, "The more we choose to accept responsibility in our lives, the more power we will exercise over our lives. Accepting responsibility for our problem is thus the first step to solving them" and page 99 "Nobody else is ever responsible for your situation but you".
Come on, let us think, sybs. I open to your opinion about the sentence above. But me, I agree. Be aware to yourself. If you aware that you are the only one who can take a responsibility to yourself, you will take a responsibility to fixed your life and make yourself happy. You can't depend on people. People might be listen to your problem and give you some advice. But it's all useless if you aren't take a responsibility to yourself.
To be honest, it's a hard for me to realize that I'm the one who take a responsibility to my situation after that shitty problem. I need a long time. Really.
I wonder if it is one of my process in my life to be a mature and be my lesson to taking care of myself. Be careful with your choice because no matter you choose you have to take a responsibility.